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Hockey Hiccups

When preaching a sermon gets checked.
Hockey Hiccups
Image: Grant Faint / Getty Images

The Stanley Cup Playoffs provides a perfect time for high-speed scoring and also deserved penalties. Sticks wave furiously as pucks sail through the air. Arms flailing, elbows jabbing, and fists flying are the causes of many a violent violation. The responsive official can spot these skating encroachments and call them out.

Our veteran hockey officials have assembled some of the most flagrant hockey-like hiccups that frequently occur in preaching which most often result in a stiff penalty.

High Sticking

This penalty occurs when the preacher uses information from a private counseling session as an anonymized sermon illustration the following Sunday, while the anonymous counselee sits in the congregation.

Holding

This penalty takes place when the preacher begins a third conclusion to the sermon even though the enticing odor of the after-church potluck dinner made its way into the sanctuary near the start of the second conclusion.

Hooking

This penalty happens when the preacher gets lost at any point ...

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