Text: Matthew 6:9-13
Topic: What it means to be a father

• What does it mean to be a father? What are we supposed to do as fathers?
  • Illustration: Mitchells shares the story of man who once said that not only did he need premarital counseling, but pre-parenting counseling.
• The spiritual fallout of confused fathers—and our experiences with bad fathers—has created a generation of people who are at best ambivalent about the fatherhood of God.
• In the prayer of Matthew 6:9-13, we have a model of fatherhood. Our heavenly Father shows us how to be an earthly father, making it so much easier for our kids to come to God and say that word—"father."
• We can sum up what this passage teaches us about fatherhood in four words: priority, provision, pardon, and protection.

• The first word I want us to look at—priority—teaches us how to be fathers by telling us how to treat our true Father in heaven.
• In verse 9, Jesus starts his prayer with these familiar words: "Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be your name."
• Fathers, I'm not saying that you should expect your children to keep your name hallowed! Instead, this verse reflects the most basic priority you have as a father: for the name of God to be hallowed—set apart, holy—in your life.
  • Illustration: As a youth minister, Mitchell was shocked to hear what kids felt was the most important thing in their parents' lives.
• You might say that God is the most important thing in your life, but your kids will see beneath the surface.
• God is hallowed in our lives when we allow him to rule as king in our hearts ("Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven").
  • Romans 12:17
  • Illustration: Mitchell tells the story of a friend who was Christ-like in a difficult situation regarding money—which spoke volumes to his friend's family.

• A second word that instructs us as fathers—provision—is hinted at in the next part of the Lord's Prayer: "Give us this day our daily bread."
• It's right for us to expect our heavenly Father to provide for us.
  • Matthew 6:25-34
• A similar kind of provision is what an earthly father is called to do for his family. In fact, earthly fathers are the primary means by which our heavenly Father provides for families.
  • 1 Timothy 5:8
• Though there are legitimate exceptions to the rule, in Scripture I see that God ordains the father—not the mother—as the primary breadwinner.
• One quick word of warning, though: a lot of men think that this mandate gives them permission to bury themselves in their work to provide anything and everything.
• It's important to note that Jesus says, "Give us this day our daily bread." He doesn't ask for prime rib.
• There is a tendency among us men to measure our worth and identity by how much we provide for our families, and we must combat it.

• The third word concerning fatherhood that our passage hints at is "pardon" ("Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors").
• Our heavenly Father is a pardoning father, a forgiving father. He understands that a father can provide all the bread in the world for his children, but if he doesn't provide forgiveness, his children will be emotionally and spiritually malnourished.
• Being a father brings a lot of blessing, a lot of joy, a lot of laughter and fun. But it is also quite costly.
• The biggest cost is not financial; it is emotional. Fathers must make an emotional investment in their kids through affirmation, encouragement, expressions of love, and most of all, forgiveness.
• At some point in every father's journey, he will have to offer what feels like a very costly pardon. After all, our kids are sinners—just like us!
  • Illustration: Bill Glass, founder of the evangelistic ministry Champions for Life, once met a boy in a juvenile prison whose father never visited him because of a lack of forgiveness.
• The key to being able to forgive is understanding how much we ourselves need forgiveness.
  • Illustration: Mitchells shares the story of how one man experienced the forgiveness of his own child, spurring a better attitude and stronger resolve concerning his witness to his family.
• Fathers, as you experience the forgiveness of God, let that forgiveness overflow in your own family. Create a culture of pardon in your home.

• The final word that instructs as fathers is "protection" ("Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil").
• I don't think this part of the prayer is about our asking that we never be tempted; this is an emotional plea not to be tempted beyond our capacity to resist.
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13
• Fathers, in this same manner, your children need you to protect them—physically, morally, and spiritually.
• Children don't always see what is out there in the same way that a father can see it.
• As fathers, we need to be willing to be unpopular at times in our homes.
  • Illustration: Mitchell shares how as a young father, he placed too high a value on keeping his children happy.
• Of course, there are some fathers who take their role as protector to the extreme. They see this responsibility as an excuse to control and dominate.
  • Illustration: Mitchells shares a quote: "People want to be lightly governed by strong governments."
• I sometimes think that's the trick to being a dad. We need to be strong, but we need to govern lightly—with gentleness and tenderness.
• Perhaps our children want to be lightly governed by strong fathers because that's how God governs.

• Speaking to those who are children of all ages: every earthly father falls short of this ideal in some way, shape, or manner.
• Turning back to those who are fathers: priority, provision, pardon, and protection—this is what we mean when we say "father."
• It's not rocket science, but it's hard work—maybe the hardest work you'll ever do. But with God as our Father, any father can do it.
• The best thing about this is that if we do these things—even in our imperfection, our flaws, our mistakes, our sins—we can be a reflection of our children's perfect heavenly Father. And in the years ahead, they'll be far more able to approach God in meaningful, lasting ways.