When you read the Song of Solomon and when you read our Scripture passage today, 1 Corinthians 7, God makes it very plain, and he doesn't apologize for it, that a married couple should have an X-rated sex life. The problem is that too many married couples have a G-rated sex life. That's the way the culture thinks it ought to be. Think about the movies that you've seen and the TV shows you've watched. How do they portray sexuality? It's always spontaneous; it's always extremely passionate. Both people feel this powerful desire, this animal magnetism, and they're turned on before they even touch each other. The sex is short, it's intense, and it's enjoyed to the fullest. But then if you look more closely, almost 99% of the time it is either between two people who are not married, or it's between two people who are not married to each other. The underlying message in the movies and the media is that married couples are not supposed to be hot. They're not supposed to enjoy sexuality. They're not supposed to be passionate.
What is the scientific and clinical reality about married sex? Here's what I learned: Healthy, married couples have both more sex and more satisfying sex, according to sociologists. There's a reason for that. When you read what God's Word has to say about sex—a subject that we should not be ashamed to talk about since God talks about it—you learn that God gave sexuality to the man and the woman, the husband and the wife, so that they could share pleasure and enhance intimacy. Doctors even tell us sex is a wonderful tension reducer for all the hassle that life and marriage produces. It energizes the marital bond, it enhances feelings of desire and desirability, and yet we have statements ...
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James Merritt is the Senior Pastor of Cross Pointe Church. His media teaching ministry, Touchinglives, is broadcast around the country and throughout the world. Dr. Merritt is also the author of numerous books, including How to Impact and Influence Others.