Introduction

It has been about 13 years since my wife and I went to our first parent/teacher conference. My son was in kindergarten at the time. His teacher, a young graduate of the University of Colorado, informed us that our son was doing "quite well." Then she added, "But there has been one incident." I shifted in my seat, glanced at Susan, and began constructing worst case scenarios.

Miss Kowal appeared to be very concerned as she shared what had happened during story time. "I was reading to the children," she said, "and as I paused to turn the page, I looked up and your son was kissing Katy!" She paused and waited for our response. I didn't know what to say. Finally, she said, "That is not appropriate." I think we told her we were sorry and we left somewhat confused.

I've been a bit confused ever since second grade. I remember when my friend Tim and I climbed a tree with Leslie Brown in her front yard. I thought we had both kissed Leslie in that tree, but Tim betrayed the kiss and told all the guys on the bus about my having kissed her. Everyday on the bus everyone sang: "Two little lovers sittin' in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage." My heart learned that kisses are dangerous and something to be ashamed of in life.

It wasn't long after the parent/teacher conference with Miss Kowal that I read an article in the Rocky Mountain News about Jonathan Prevette, a proposed sex offender. Convicted by the authorities, Prevette was separated from his class at Southwest Elementary School in Lexington, Kentucky, and banned from attending the class ice cream party. The school was very concerned about securing federal funds, so they were very concerned about following federal guidelines regarding sexual harassment. Jonathan Prevette, a 6-year-old child, had kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. According to Jonathan, he did it because "I liked her." But he was treated as if that's what all the perverts say.

It's easy to snicker at Southwest Elementary in Lexington, Kentucky, until you read about 53-year-old Duane Morrison. Morrison lived alone in his Jeep in the woods and constructed haunted houses for a living. One day Duane Morrison entered Platte Canyon High School with a backpack and two handguns. He took a group of female students hostage, eventually killing one and then himself. He claimed there was a bomb in his backpack, when it was actually filled with sexual paraphernalia.

The Bible has an extremely high standard of sexual purity.

We live in a depraved society where promiscuity, infidelity, pornography, and sexual predation run rampant and are increasing. In Romans 13 Paul argues that God has instituted governing authorities to carry the sword for the common good. As a society we ought to have laws and sexual harassment policies. Of all the countries in the world, I suspect that the U. S has the best laws against sexual predation and harassment. Yet the U. S. is hardly a picture of sexual virtue. We are the world's number one producer of porn. Maybe we need more laws.

In Iran the punishment for a kiss between unmarried, unrelated men and women is 74 lashes. In Iran, it's illegal to kiss in public. A few years ago, authorities in Moscow were considering a ban on all kissing in public places, even between spouses. The ban aimed at improving public morality and guarding against the dangers of kissing. It seems they're beginning to see the power of kisses. A communist textbook defined the kiss this way: "A kiss is the approach of two pair of lips, with reciprocated transmission of microbes and carbon dioxide."

In Matthew 5 Jesus says, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Better to rip out your eye than be thrown in Gehenna with it." Now, that's rather hard to regulate with legislation! Besides, in a day or two, all the men I know would be blind!

In 1 Corinthians 5 Paul instructs the church to enact church discipline in regard to a man sleeping with his mother-in-law. That's helpful, but it would be nice to get some rules for the stuff in between a lustful thought and unrepentant sex with your mother-in-law! When I was a youth pastor, we spent hours trying to decipher biblical texts in order to produce some laws for the kids that answered the question, "How far is too far?" In the end we kind of had to make stuff up. The Bible has an extremely high standard of sexual purity, and it's one that's almost impossible to regulate with legislation. Much of it has to do with the heart.

Greeting one another with a holy kiss.

First Corinthians has the most detail regarding sexual purity and church discipline, because of all the New Testament churches, the church in Corinth appears to have struggled the most with sexual sin. Through tears, Paul writes his letter to them—a letter that ends with one final command in 1 Corinthians 16:20: "Greet one another with a holy kiss."

Greet one another with a holy kiss? Surely that must be an anomaly! But 2 Corinthians ends in the same way: "Greet one another with a holy kiss." The theological treatise of Romans ends in the same manner: "Greet one another with a holy kiss." Paul ends 1 Thessalonians with this word: "Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss." The word "greet" is in the imperative tense. It's not optional; it's a command.

According to scholars, there were no kissing customs in Greco-Roman society. The Anchor Bible Dictionary has this to say about the issue: "There is general agreement that the 'holy kiss' had its origin in the practice which emerged in the early church among the believers themselves, with the impetus probably coming from the shape of their life with Jesus himself. Nothing analogous to it is to be found among any Greco-Roman societies, nor indeed at Qumran. The social context of the practice involves the form of salutations emerging among the believers themselves, with the impetus probably coming from the shape of their life with Jesus himself. Nothing analogous to it is to be found among any Greco-Roman societies, nor indeed at Qumran. The social context of the practice involves the form of salutations emerging among the first Christians."

In other words, these commands for kissing were created by Jesus. In Luke 7, Jesus is at a formal dinner with the community religious leaders. A woman—probably a prostitute—crashes the banquet by washing Jesus' feet with her tears and covering them with kisses. When Simon the Pharisee grows indignant, Jesus reprimands him for not being more like her. The Pharisees seemed to have a hard time with kissing. They only did it in a highly regulated way through religious legislation. But Jesus initiates a new freedom toward the practice of kissing.

The early church took the "kissing commands" from Christ and the apostles quite literally. The "Kiss of Peace" soon became an integral part of the church liturgy. They also practiced kisses at baptisms, funeral, and ordinations. The most important kiss was the one offered at communion. It was customary to go to the prisons and kiss the martyrs before they were executed. Tertullian, the church Father, asked if any prayer could be complete without a holy kiss.

It wasn't long, though, before Clement of Alexandria complained that the church was filled with the sound of kissing. Over time, then, the "holy kiss" became more regulated and legislated. After all, kisses can be abused; they're dangerous. By the third century, when the church went in a more political direction, kisses were no longer allowed between the sexes. In the thirteenth century, in Britain, the church stopped kissing people and substituted an antiseptic kissing tablet called an "osculatorium." In the Eastern church they still kiss—but they kiss icons and not each other.

The "holy kiss" has disappeared. Here in America, if you were to be obedient to Scripture and kiss everybody, you would probably be kicked out of church, and the leaders would call the police. But the Bible still commands you to "greet the brethren with a holy kiss." It's dangerous to do that nowadays, but obedience is always dangerous.

The power of a kiss

The most famous story Jesus ever told is about kissing. We call it "The Story of the Prodigal Son." A better title might be: "The Story of the Prodigal Father—the Prodigal Kisser." You know the story: The son takes his father's inheritance and spends it on hookers and unholy kisses. When he comes to his senses, he decides to return to his father. When the father sees his son from a great distance, the father runs to him, and before the son can say a word, the father grabs him, embraces him, and kisses him over and over again. It's at this point that the boy crumbles and repents. He longs to be a son his Father, the Prodigal Kisser.

Do you see how the Father heals the boy of immoral, erotic kisses with passionate holy kisses? So if you think God's command for kissing will lead to promiscuity, I think the reality is actually just the opposite.

People were made for intimacy. Without it, infants will die and little children will grow insane. We were all made for legitimate intimacy, and without it we're like a starving people who will eat poison if only for our empty guts to be filled for a moment. Joe Dallas, the former President of Exodus International, writes: "Intimacy is like water. Our need for it turns into a craving that will drive us to do almost anything to get it. We may even drink gutter water if our thirst is intense enough, and we don't think there's any other way to satisfy it. When a strong emotional need has been sexualized, its satisfaction can be sought in a number of illegitimate ways, including homosexuality. But when that need is being met legitimately, homosexual behavior holds less appeal."

You have a Father, and you need to surrender to his kisses. It's his kiss that leads you to repentance and makes you new. He creates and recreates with a kiss. You also have a Mother—the church. You need her kisses, too. In fact, the Father kisses you through her.

Now, I know that kissing makes you awfully vulnerable. Some of you have been terribly abused by unholy kisses. They make you never want to risk kissing ever again. Well, you're not the only one who's been betrayed with a kiss. Remember Jesus? A kiss makes us vulnerable to the wounds of evil. And who is it that can hurt me most? The ones I kiss the most: my wife, my kids, my mom, and my church. C. S. Lewis wrote: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give your heart to no one. … Lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. In that casket it will change. The only place outside of heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell."

But we must become vulnerable; we must be kissed.

I think my old friend, Tim, was stuck in hell. He was mean. He teased me for kissing Leslie Brown, and what Tim needed more than anything was a good kiss—the Father's kiss. I hope he has it now.

Duane Morrison lived in a Jeep in the woods. I understand the attraction. When you're alone, you're safe from the dangers of love. It wouldn't surprise me if somewhere in Duane's past he had been harmed by a number of unholy kisses. Because of that, he hid in his Jeep, and the Jeep became his haunted house. He starved for intimacy until he tried to get it with a gun. All he needed was a good kiss—the Father's kiss.

We often hide our hearts in far countries or a Jeep in the woods, because we're not only scared of the pain of evil that come with a kiss; we're scared of the pain of good that come with a kiss. A good kiss can burn you. If I'm trying to be selfish and you kiss me, your kiss burns my selfishness. If I'm trying to be arrogant and you give me a kiss, the kiss burns my pride. If I'm trying to be mad at Susan and she kisses me, the kiss messes up my anger. If I'm trying to be your enemy and you shower me with kindness, it's like you're heaping burning coals on my head. Good kisses judge us and burn away evil. The "holy kiss" is an act of judgment. If we resist it, it burns us; when we surrender to it, it makes all things new.

Joe Bayly, a Christian author and minister, had a rebellious son named Tim. Joe tried to reach Tim with arguments and rules, but he still rebelled. Tim eventually left his home, left the faith, and lived a prodigal life in a far country. Tim's rebellion broke Joe's heart.

Late one night, Joe got a phone call. "This is the police," the voice on the other line said. "Your son was arrested for a DUI. We have him here in the town jail." Joe got out of bed and drove a half hour to the jail where his son was being held. When he got there, they told him that his son wasn't there. Joe thought he had driven to the wrong place, so he drove to the next town, the next town after that, the next town after that, and the next town after that.

Finally, around 4:00 a.m., Joe decided to drive to an old house in Chicago where he knew Tim had been sleeping. The door wasn't locked, so he stepped inside and looked for his son. In the faint light of the darkened room, he saw him asleep in a sleeping bag that was strewn across an old mattress. He walked over to the mattress and stood over Tim. Then, moved with compassion, he bent down, lightly kissed Tim on the cheek, and left.

In the months that followed, Tim started visiting his parents. He returned to church and recommitted his life to Christ. He even announced he was going into the ministry. Today, Tim's a Presbyterian pastor in Indiana.

Years after later, while on a walk together, Joe asked Tim what had brought him home. Tim looked at his dad and said, "Don't you know? Remember that night, years ago, when you got a call that I was in jail? Dad, that was my friend. It was a prank. When you came to the house, I only pretended to be asleep. I was wide awake. I knew you'd driven all night in the cold, and I wondered what you were going to do to me. And all you did was bend down and kiss me on the cheek. Dad, the kiss brought me back."

Conclusion

The Father ran to the prodigal son on the road, showered him with kisses, and brought us all back. The kiss made the Father vulnerable to unspeakable pain. The kiss judged the boy, burning away evil and making him new. The kiss makes all things new. The kiss is Jesus Christ and him crucified. Jesus is God's kiss in a broken world. Jesus is the word, the life, the breath from God's lips, through whom all things are created and recreated. Jesus is the kiss that makes us in the image of the Great Kisser. So what am I saying? "Greet one another with a holy kiss."

I know that you don't naturally like kisses, but before you know it, you'll be kissing the King. You see, the Lord is King and you are his bride. He's bound and determined to turn you into a great kisser. And if you think God's calling you to give someone a kiss—a holy kiss—do it.

For Your Reflection

Personal growth: How has this sermon fed your own soul? ___________________________________________

Skill growth: What did this sermon teach you about how to preach? ____________________________________________________________________________

Exegesis and exposition: Highlight the paragraphs in this sermon that helped you better understand Scripture. How does the sermon model ways you could provide helpful biblical exposition for your hearers? ____________________________________________________________________________

Theological Ideas: What biblical principles in this sermon would you like to develop in a sermon? How would you adapt these ideas to reflect your own understanding of Scripture, the Christian life, and the unique message that God is putting on your heart? ____________________________________________________________________________

Outline: How would you improve on this outline by changing the wording, or by adding or subtracting points? _____________________________________________________________________

Application: What is the main application of this sermon? What is the main application of the message you sense God wants you to bring to your hearers? ____________________________________________________________________________

Illustrations: Which illustrations in this sermon would relate well with your hearers? Which cannot be used with your hearers, but they suggest illustrations that could work with your hearers? ____________________________________________________________________________

Credit: Do you plan to use the content of this sermon to a degree that obligates you to give credit? If so, when and how will you do it?

Peter Hiett is pastor of The Sanctuary Downtown in Denver, Colorado, and author of Dance Lessons for Zombies (2005).