Editor's note: The following monologue is delivered in character by a shepherd named Larry. There was a live nativity scene on stage for the Children's sermon. As the children were dismissed one of the shepherds stayed on stage. He took his robe offrevealing his outfit of blue jeans, boots, a plaid shirt with the arms torn off, and a baseball capwalked to the center of the stage, and began speaking. Further stage directions will appear in brackets.
Larry the shepherd introduces himself.
Dadgum, y'all look pretty. Your pastor said he wanted a living fertility scene, or some such thing; and then he asked me to stick around and tell my story. My name is Larry, and I'm a shepherd. I ain't no genius, so I brung some notes so I wouldn't forget nothing. Your fancy pants pastor probably doesn't need them, but I do. Before we begin, I know what some of you is thinking. "Why'd you take your sheet off?" Well, that was for show. We wore sheets and towels alright, but that was only 'cause we didn't have access to fine apparel like this. See, I'm a Jew from Bethlehem just south of Jerusalem. Some of my flocks supplied the Levites in the temple.
Now some of you may be a little bit perturbed. You're thinking, Dadgum, it's Christmas Eve. I got dressed up and everything. And now I gotta listen to this redneck. I been to the mall, and I seen the nativity scenes. Them shepherd boys look nice and respectful and clean. This feller looks like he stinks. An' it's Christmas, for gosh sakes. Well, if that's you, maybe you don't get the concept. Religious folks in my day didn't get the concept, neither: Concept C=Christmas. To understand Concept C, you gotta understand Concept A and Concept B.
Larry explains Concept A: holiness.
"A" stands ...
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