going to speak about learning to love. What I have to say may pertain to many
of you who are married, but if you're not married, hang in there, because the
principles we're talking about apply not only to marriage but all
People experience misery in
marriage for 4 reasons.
me begin by asking this question. Why do marriages begin so well and often end
so badly? I've been a pastor for a number of years, and no one has yet come to
me to say, "Pastor, our great desire in life is to have a miserable marriage.
Would you please tell us how we can live in real misery?" No one has ever said
that. Amazingly there are some couples whom I have married who are living today
in a good deal of misery. Why? Let me give you a few reasons.
they are miserable because of unrealistic expectations. Some people actually
think marriage is going to make them happy. Here's a young woman who says to
herself, "I am going to marry a man whose responsibility is to make
me happy." She marries him, and he has responsibilities other than that
responsibility. She begins to chip away at him to make him into the
kind of man who will make her happy.
been said that a bride thinks of three things on her wedding day: the aisle,
the altar, and him. Actually it's this: "I'll alter him. I'll make him into the
kind of man who can make me happy." I just want to say this: if you are
miserable as a single person, it's entirely possible you're going to be
miserable married. Marriage does not automatically produce happiness. Some
young women don't marry a man; they marry a dream. When the dream shatters,
they're shattered, too.
a second reason, and that is the myth of the greener grass. J. Allan Petersen
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