In a New York Times interview, Lady Gaga discussed the pain and brokenness she’s experienced in her life as a star:

On being treated as “a commodity” she said: “I also can say with a lot of honesty that, being in the music industry since I was a teenager, some of it is how much you are willing to give away. Things like eating at the dinner table with your family, it never happens. Being in a room by yourself never happens.”

On losing touch with reality, she said: “At a certain point, I just completely lost touch with reality. I was falling so deeply into the fantasy of my artwork and my stage persona that I lost touch… I had psychosis. I was not deeply in touch with reality for a while. It took me out of life in a big way, and after a lot of years of hard work I got myself back.”

The singer-actress says she’s doing better, largely through a relationship with her current fiancé, but she still claims that she’s “kind of at war with myself sometimes as I get ready to, hopefully, become a mom soon. Like, today is wonderful, but the whole day has revolved around me. There’s an incredible amount of narcissism in this. How do I live a life where I’m passionate about my art while also making more space for other things?”