Being grateful is an American tradition, especially this week. And research has shown that it has mental- and physical-health benefits, including less depression and better sleep, relationships and success at work.

But a recent article on The Wall Street Journal argued that what it calls “performative gratitude” may be bad for you. The article states: “Performative gratitude—compelling ourselves to be grateful when we’re not—is a form of toxic positivity. The energy we expend trying to avoid the uncomfortable feeling will, ironically, keep us focused on the problem. Then we feel guilty because we failed to be grateful.”

“Forced gratitude is manipulating,” says Sara Kuburic, a psychotherapist based in Sydney. “It prevents us from taking responsibility to change things to make them the way we want them to be.”

Pushing ourselves to feel grateful can harm our relationships, too. If we’re putting on a facade, we’re not being honest, and that can lead to resentment and a lack of communication. It can also make us appear like a Pollyanna—someone out of touch with reality. And this can leave us vulnerable to people who see us as a pushover.
One of the researchers said, “Grateful people may be perceived to be more forgiving and tolerant, so others may feel they can get away with something.”

Possible Preaching Angles:

The Bible urges us to be grateful for the Lord and his good character—but that can still allow room to express negative emotions like sadness or anger, as we see so often in the psalms of lament, for instance. But that isn’t ingratitude; it’s gratitude that has grappled with sorrow but still trusts in God.