Christian psychologist Mark McMinn recounts a story about meeting a young woman in his church who had recently come to Christ.

She described her childhood in a home where self-esteem was the primary virtue. Her parents taught her that she was delightful, talented, good-hearted, intelligent, and witty. Having spent several months with her in a small group, I tended to agree with her parents ….

But as she talked about her spiritual awakening, she acknowledged that something important was missing from her incubator of childhood self-esteem. Somehow, deep down, she always knew that she was not quite as great as her parents thought she was. She knew that there was an intrinsic need for healing, an inner darkness, a moral decay, which was also part of her character. As she ventured into the traps of promiscuity and drugs, she felt like an imposter, as if no one could know about her true self or they would stop loving her …. What she longed for was authentic awareness of her good and bad qualities, and love that was big enough to embrace her regardless of her sin.

When she turned to God as a young adult, she found what she had been longing for—One who knew every dark corner of her soul and still believed her to be worthy of love, forgiveness, and grace. Self-esteem and positive self-talk could not meet the deepest needs of her heart. A sound theology of sin and grace was her only hope.