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Bitter Man Chooses to Forgive Longtime Enemy

Pastor Matt Woodley writes:

My friend Steve warned me that he didn't believe in forgiveness. "God could never forgive me," he said. "Okay, maybe he could forgive 70 percent of my sins, but not all of them." When I tried to explain that when we trust Jesus he forgives 100 percent of our sin, Steve interrupted, "Yeah, fine, but you don't know the stuff I've done." Then he told the following story:

Nineteen years ago this guy stole my wife away from me. They got married and moved to Florida while my life unraveled. After I was arrested for assaulting a police officer, this guy smirked through the entire court hearing. When I was convicted, he flipped me the finger. I've hated him for nineteen years. He's coming up here next week, I have a 32-caliber pistol strapped around my ankle, and when I see him I will kill him." Then he chillingly concluded, "I've thought all about it. I'm 63-years-old. I will get a life sentence, but I'll also get free medical and dental and a warm bed and three meals a day. All of this bitterness and resentment feels so right; forgiveness seems weird.

Steve was right about one point: forgiveness often feels like an unnatural act. So what should followers of Jesus tell Steve? Why forgive?

After Steve told me this story, I paused for a long time before I finally stammered, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter if you go to jail, because you're already in jail. The guy who stole your wife and smirked at your hearing isn't in jail. You are. That guy is free, but you're a prisoner of your own hate; and you're slowly killing yourself. And unless you forgive, you'll remain trapped for the rest of your life."

A week later he called me and said, "You know, I get your point. I put the gun away. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail or enslaved to my own hate. Will you pray for me that Jesus will release me?"

Forgiveness, like every other aspect of following Jesus, involves a long journey. As we consistently receive Jesus' forgiveness for our sins, it will soften our hearts towards those who have wounded us. Then, as we continue to trust and grow in Christ, slowly, by God's grace, we'll find more freedom to forgive than we ever imagined.

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