Jump directly to the Content
Jump directly to the Content

Sermon Illustrations

Home > Sermon Illustrations

How to Be Prepared for an Anaconda Attack

According to pastor and author John Ortberg, a fictitious manual for Peace Corp volunteers headed for South America offers advice on how to handle a chance encounter with an anaconda (a large type of boa constrictor). This is the list of instructions under the heading "What to Do If Attacked by an Anaconda":

  • 1. If you're attacked by an anaconda, do not run; the snake is faster than you are.
  • 2. Lie flat on the ground.
  • 3. Put your arms tight at your sides and your legs tight against one another.
  • 4. The snake will begin to climb over your body.
  • 5. Do not panic.
  • 6. The snake will begin to swallow you from the feet end.
  • 7. Step 6 will take a long time.
  • 8. After awhile, slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife, and very gently slide it into the snake's mouth. Then suddenly sever the snake's head.
  • 9. Be sure your knife is sharp.
  • 10. Be sure you have your knife.

John Ortberg quotes these humorous instructions and then makes a serious point: "You never really know what curves life will throw at you, what's lurking around the corner … But when you are called, and you will be called, you need to know what to do. If you wait until a crisis hits, because it will hit, you have waited too long. You need to be prepared first."

Related Sermon Illustrations

Early Arrival for Wedding Guest

Like most couples preparing for a wedding, Dave Best and his fiancée were probably worried about whether or not everyone would show up on time for the ceremony on July 6, 2008. ...

[Read More]

Outthinking Burglars or Playing into Their Hands?

If we knew the most likely place a thief might strike would we react differently? The front door and first-floor window are the most common places burglars enter homes. With that in ...

[Read More]