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You're Suburban If...

You're so suburban if

Your lawn mower is more powerful than your first car.
Your kids have never crossed the street at a stop light.
You have the luxury of a two-car garage, but the cars don't fit in it. —Cathy Polacek
You built a shed to house your Christmas decorations. —Cathy Polacek
Your commute is twice as long as what you tell people it is. —Harriet Russo
You pick your dog's haircut out of a magazine. —Jessica Cadwalleader
You drive your van a block to get milk.
You always return your grocery cart to the cart rack.
You have no idea if your town has a public bus service.
Your most recent night out was a parent/teacher conference.
You sometimes refer to summer as "garage sale season." —Angela Ferina
Your mortgage could balance the national debt in a third-world country.
You have ADT, a rottweiller, and motion-detector lights, but no curtains on your window.
You jog five miles a day but spend 30 minutes waiting for a closer parking space at the mall.

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