I believe most Christians don't subscribe to the legitimacy of singleness. I am convinced that is the reason for so much pain and hurt in the church about that issue. Directly or indirectly, subtly or not so subtly, we have ascribed to the conviction that singles are unfinished business. We say in groups and in private conversations, "Aren't you married yet?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing unmarried?"

"What you need is a good wife."

"Found anybody to date yet?"

"I'm praying the Lord will lead you to a good guy."

"It's too bad he's not married."

Parents say that; relatives say that. Family reunions apparently are notorious for saying those kinds of things. Books and articles are written from a Christian viewpoint that say, "If you will only commit your life to Christ, God will give you a marriage partner." Christ never said that. He said he will lead you to a life of meaning and purpose and fulfillment. He never said he would give you marriage. He's more concerned about other things.

We need to accept the legitimacy of singleness. Simple mathematics say there are more women than men in this world, and there always will be. We need to accept it because there are some people whose circumstances involve singleness, and they have no opportunity to change. Others prefer not to change. We need to accept the legitimacy of singleness primarily because the Bible does. We have not read the Bible as carefully as we should about that.