My wife, Angie, and I had discussed the idea of adoption for years, both prior to and right after our marriage. But now, when adoption seemed our only recourse [because of our infertility], we made the subject off limits. It felt like an act of surrender rather than a choice. Like a consolation prize. Like second place.

As we balanced the delicate walk between grief and hope, I decided that I had to understand the Lord's heart regarding this subject. What did the Bible really teach us about infertility and adoption? How did God use it in the lives of his people? How was he using it in mine? …

I sympathized with Abram and the way his confusion grew each time the Lord told him that he would be the father of a multitude of nations. He was to be fruitful beyond comprehension, and yet Sarai just did not conceive. As each month passed without pregnancy, they must have assumed that God was displeased with them, or at best was waiting for them to be worthy of his call. I empathized; Angie and I had battled this same insecurity and conditional reasoning.

After 10 additional years of waiting, complete with a name change for each spouse and a turn-of-the-century birthday for Abraham, then and only then did the Lord fulfill his commitment to this now elderly couple. Isn't it typical of God to wait until he, and he alone, can bring the result? That's the overriding message I received from Abraham and Sarah. And, except for the age differences, a somewhat similar occurrence played out in my own marriage as the Lord brought us four children in the next two years. …

Angie and I started our family by adopting twin boys, one of which (the younger, of course) we named Jacob. …

Unbelievably, after the adoption of our twins, Angie became pregnant for the first time. But the celebration turned into fear and anxiety as Angie became very sick in the third trimester. Pre-eclampsia ravaged her body. Her kidneys started to shut down and her blood pressure soared. At her seven-month check-up she was admitted to the hospital so she could receive around-the-clock care. As we waited for the drugs to prepare both Angie and our baby for a premature birth, Angie's body gave out. One early morning she suffered three quick and progressive hemorrhages as her placenta ripped from the uterine wall.

An emergency C-section brought Alivia into the world with only four minutes to spare before a lack of blood flow would have resulted in long-term brain damage for our baby. Moreover, Angie fully recovered with no additional side effects other than extreme exhaustion. …

When we decided to adopt the boys, Angie and I had already come to terms with our deepest desire. It wasn't biological heirs or blood and gene transference. It was the opportunity to parent, the privilege to raise up a boy or a girl in the ways of the Lord—to share life and dreams with the next generation. …

With or without a natural childbirth, I was still a changed man. The journey through infertility to adoption had taught me some lessons about answers and deliverance that I think are significant for all families (with or without children, with or without infertility, and with or without adoption). …

There is no doubt that infertility is a difficult, painful issue and can often lead to a season of doubt or despair. But there is also no doubt that adoption is a God-honoring option to consider when the traditional road to parenting goes unanswered. [After all, we are all adopted in Christ]. We are not guaranteed the answers that we always want, but we are guaranteed answers that will glorify Christ and allow us to live in a spirit of adoption.