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Writings on Hospital Charts

Rumored notes from hospital charts (probably written by some sleepy intern or frazzled nurse):

• The patient refused autopsy.
• Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
• Note: Patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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