Sermon Illustrations
Writings on Hospital Charts
Rumored notes from hospital charts (probably written by some sleepy intern or frazzled nurse):
The patient refused autopsy.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Note: Patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.